It’s not my fault if my man is a cheater!!

It has been such a long while since I wrote anything on this platform that I almost feel like a stranger. But I heard almost doesn’t count! Let me start by apologising to my faithful readers and followers whom I have been starving for months on end and now that am back, its hopefully for good. I say hopefully cos I hadn’t planned to be away for so long and as such, can’t know whether am done being away. But just because I haven’t been writing don’t mean I haven’t been reading and you guys have been making my weeks with your posts. http://whisperywind.wordpress.com with all its DIY have been marvelous and refreshing, am looking forward to more DIY ideas. And http://darknightwilliams.wordpress.com keeping me emotional and miss pepper’s blog which gives me new insight on sexual partners and generally, sex!
But moving on to why I felt compelled to write today. So, there has been a lot of hype on a post by one Njoki Chege on social media and I finally caved in and visited the blog to see for myself what all the controversy was about. I visited http://njokichege.wordpress.com and her latest piece, titled ‘LADIES: it’s your fault that he is CHEATING’, is the source of all the contention. In it, she states clearly that husbands and boyfriends who cheat should not be blamed and that the blame lies entirely with the women in their lives. She goes on to state the reasons why this is so; starting with my favourite, she states being fat as the key reason. And then goes on to mention nagging, having a poor sense of fashion, and being lazy and boring as the other factors that lead our men to cheat. I shook my head after finishing that post.
One, you being a lady, I don’t think you understand the mindset of a man well enough to speak for him but these are your thoughts and as such, acceptable. What, however, I find not acceptable is blaming the victim for being victimized! As she repeatedly preached that big is not beautiful, I felt I should stand up and object! Am a big girl and a beautiful one at that. Its not the body mass that determines whether one is beautiful or not. But I agree with her when she mentions that inner beauty is overrated, true! But beauty is confidence and confidence is beauty! You could be as skinny as a model with toothpicks for legs, and a face that makes angels envious, but with no confidence, you are worse off than the ‘baby hippo’. No, am not here to fight for weighty people out there, am here to tell Njoki that no, its not my fault that my boyfriend went to a club without me, got so drunk that he forgot where to park his junk. I could have 8 kids and look like mother Africa would look if she got pregnant, heck I could have a tyre so big that it would threaten the future of Yana tyres but never will I blame myself for the actions of a cheater. I have been cheated on before, and I have cheated, and not once did I stop and think ‘its his fault that am cheating…’ Cos let’s be honest, the minute you take that step and undo your pants, your partner ceases to exist. Everyone is responsible for their actions! He didn’t cheat cos she took the kids to eat fries and then swimming when they could have dumped them on the mother-in-law and gone to have a romantic dinner somewhere. I bet they could have done that, and he would still have sexted Sheila.
Its not my fault that my ex boyfriend cheated on me! And its not the next one’s fault if decide to cheat on him. If you are man enough to cheat, be man enough to take responsibilities for your actions!
What nagged me most about that post is that, it reminded me of a situation where a girl gets raped and someone has the audacity to be caught on air (on air!) saying how its the girls’ fault for being raped. Like she walked around with a banner around her neck screaming ‘I WANT TO BE RAPED’!
So, why do men cheat? I don’t have a clue…am a lady! Why did I cheat in the past? Well, sh*t happens…I tripped and fell on top of him. But you won’t catch me saying my boyfriend tripped me!

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